Gaussian Blur
by The Subversive
Summary: It didn’t matter. Not now, anyway. It didn’t matter tonight, now when his lips are finally against hers, her thoughts captured in a kiss that shattered all reason and logic and destroyed whatever sense of hesitance she harbored...


**Gaussian Blur**

**The Subversive**

**Chapter 1**

_This is wrong_, she thought.

But her thoughts were definitely not reflected by her actions, as she lowered herself against him, her lithe body fully pressing against his perfectly chiseled one… The thought of being only two layers of thin cloth away from the inevitable made her heart pound wildly.

_This is wrong_, she thought, but her thoughts were deliberately ignored by her hands as they weaved through his wild, raven hair – tugging, pulling, fingers roaming with a rhythm matched only by the way her soft lips left trails of hot kisses along his jaw, his cheek, his neck…

_This is so wrong_, she thought. But it didn't matter. Not now, anyway. It didn't matter tonight, now when his lips are finally against hers, her thoughts captured in a kiss that shattered all reason and logic and destroyed whatever sense of hesitance she harboured.

No, it didn't matter tonight – not when her fingers intertwined with his as their bodies shifted after breaking free from the clothes that separated their skin, burning with desire. It didn't matter tonight that she, Lily Evans, was once again moments away from the inevitable, right in the arms of none other than James Potter, her professor.

* * *

"Point, madame," the tall, dirty blond-haired guy said as he stood and extended his arm towards the speaker.

"Yes, Remus" Lily briefly acknowledged his Point of Information.

The entire Sociology and Anthropology class held their breaths as Remus began his 15-second POI. They were debating the motion _This house regrets student-teacher relationships, _with Lily on affirmative side.

"Lily, not all non-professional student-teacher relationships involve sexually abusive adults who "victimize"," Remus made a hand gesture that resembled quotation marks, deliberately suggesting the absurdity of the idea, "unknowing minors, as your side has exaggeratedly painted. These relationships also involve adults well above the consent age capable of making informed decisions…"

Lily needn't listen to the rest of his sentence to understand his point. She made a motion with her hands that told him to sit down as she continued with her interrupted speech, starting with a rebuttal.

"Apparently opposition bench is confused, Madame Chair," she began, addressing the debate's adjudicator. "Assuming but not conceding that there are student-teacher relationships between two consenting adults, we say that the value in question in this debate is not the mere existence of such relationships, but rather the point that regardless of age, even if consensual, fact remains that these students are not entirely aware of the meaning and implications of sexual involvement with their teacher."

Lily's heart was pounding wildly as adrenaline rushed through her body. She loved debating.

"Little Johnny of 14 years might think that screwing his teacher is _awesome_," she continued," when in fact he becomes a victim to the sexual demands of someone who is likely to be mentally or psychologically unstable, hence having sex with a _child _in the first place.

"Furthermore, we'd like to highlight this little thing society calls statutory rape,"

Remus stood up again and extended his hand.

Lily paid no heed as she continued with her speech while making the same hand gesture that motioned him to sit down, and Remus reluctantly obliged.

"Which my very able Deputy Prime Minister will discuss later on. For students who are of consent age and knowingly enter such relationships with teachers, we on government side maintain our stand when we say that such relationships are detrimental to both parties. Why? Second argument: conflict of interest…"

* * *

"Nice debate, Lil." Remus said as he walked beside the redhead.

"Yeah, too bad you completely floored us over." She said with a raised eyebrow and a grin. It was funny that Lily's team lost to Remus' with a margin of 0.5, what with Lily knowing first-hand about the issues…

Not that it mattered though, and Lily had to suppress laughing and grimacing at the same time at the absurdity of it all. She debated about disapproving student-teacher relationships when only a few days a go she had been involved in the very student-teacher activities her team opposed that afternoon. Ironic.

"You weren't so bad." Remus was grinning at her. "You even managed to put together a coherent sentence. We're making progress." He teased.

Lily hit him playfully in the arm. "Shut up."

She turned to him as they neared her chauffeured car, waiting.

It was unfair, really, that her best friend in the world has to be kept in the dark about her relationship with James, but nobody can know. She was in her final year at one of England's most prestigious schools and James was only in his first year of teaching. She didn't even want to begin imagining what would happen if it went out. What would her parents say? Her teachers? Her friends? Hogwarts? The nightmare.

"What's wrong Lily?" Lily had been silently staring at nothing for a long time, and the look on Remus' face affirms his concern.

She smiled at him sadly. "Nothing."

Remus gave him a look. He knew her too well.

"I'm just…stressed."

He frowned. Lily heaved a deep sigh.

"Finals is killing me." Lily told him. This was partly true, and the sheer amount of stress studying was causing her was evident in her eye bags and paler skin. But the studying wasn't even half of it and she knew it. She was in a love affair with one of her professors, and the effort they've both put in trying to keep it secret was enough to push her to breaking point.

Remus smiled at her understandingly. "Good it's Friday then. This has been one hell of a week."

_You have no idea. _ Lily thought, and she immediately regretted thinking that.

Remus was such a dear friend, and it was absolutely breaking her heart that while she knew every last deep, hidden secret Remus had, she'd managed to exclude him on what was really happening with her. So much for being best friends…

"Yeah." She managed a big smile. "I'll see you tomorrow at Sirius' party okay?"

Remus chuckled. "I'll pick you up at seven."

"Thanks." Lily smiled, and Remus gathered her into a bone-crushing hug. She hugged him back, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to go back to simpler times, when there was no school, no secrets, no judgment, and they were once again little children in a sandbox, without a care in the world.

He kissed her temple and let go.

"Bye Remus." Lily said as the door was opened for her and she shuffled into the backseat.

The long black car drove away and Remus was left alone as the sky turned orange and the sun began to set.

"Goodbye, Lily."


End file.
